trip me
soundtracks of your lifeArchive for PETA
Happy Mondays
When I smile, the world spins faster,I know, and I love it. In theory I could get thousands of ponies just by smiling, and the war would stop if I smiled. It never happened that way, but I never tried to get a pony or to stop the war. I just let those things happen the way they have to be cos I’m too busy making myself smile every time I don’t miss and I don’t eat meat, and I don’t buy a product that has been tested on animals.
I’m happy for small things and it takes so little to make me happy, that people actually get upset with me. They think I don’t care, and that I just don’t feel anything about it, but if they just enjoyed those moments of happiness with me they would be happier too, and that would make me even happier, Because, like Almodovar’s Agrado, I was born to make people happy.
And to make myself sad, too. So it’s true, when they tell me I look sad, I probably am, cos I think I might die, and people hate me for thinking I may die, but if they saw how happy and thankful I am when I feel healthy and my body breathes through pranayama they would feel happy too and that would make me feel happier as well. So when you drop me in the red light I feel sad, because the red light will turn green and I’ll have to run before that, and time will be my master and I never wanted any master in my life, that’s why I ran away. And time is my master and you leave and I feel sad because I can’t say good-bye. When I want to say good—bye, I never say it. I just run away, or pretend that I’m dead for you. But when I don’t want to say good-bye and I have to, I feel like my heart turns into a light shade of grey and I mourn. Until a ray of light hits my face and brings another freckle to my cheeks; then I’m happy again and my heart gets bigger, like a balloon. And I’m not Margo Tenenbaum anymore, nor Mia Wallace, nor Penny Lane. I am Orlando, and I am on Earth and I am in outer space, I’m being born and I’m dying.
I am still looking for that house that smells like flowers, old wood, and some Laura Ashley room spray. It smells like all that, and it smells like me too. And I think of all the houses of all the lovers I have all over the world, and I don’t find that smell anywhere. Not even my house smells like that and I wonder where my smell is or if I have a smell in the first place.
Maybe I don’t, but so far, I have a smile. And this smile is real, like the Cheshire Cat’s smile, and my sisters ask me to smile and I smile because when I do, I make them happy. And that makes my smile get bigger and bigger and bigger. So big that my cheeks and all the freckles on it that came with all those sunbeams stand for themselves and introduce me like the best hosts I ever saw in my life and I smile at them in my own smile.
the devil’s kitchen
For being a yoga lover, vegetarian and animal supporter, I’m pretty tolerant when it comes to fake plastic trees. When I saw Las Vegas, I didn’t cry. I just thought it was amazing how people found the real thing by faking it. For me, it wasn’t a problem. And on the other hand, I enjoyed the casinos, the lights and the great amount of shopping and funny kitsch things going on everywhere. But when it came to food, then I realised we had a bit of a problem here.
Food is the only thing I need it to be real. When I realised that I was hungry looking at the ice cream Baby Firefly was licking after some gore killing, I realised my body was begging for food. If you can actually get hungry while watching any Rob Zombie movie, it means that your body is trying to say something. “Go Cannibal”!, my tummy was screaming at me. At my vegetarian stomach.
I’ve never been a believer, but now I believe. I can see Otis looking at me and telling me he’s the devil. I can see the guy at the hamburger store asking me if I want to add some fries. And I believe so much that I pray for my green heaven.
Get off the Internet!
When I was 10, the best invention ever made was the TV because all I wanted to do was watch Candy Candy . When I was 15, the telephone because all I wanted to do was talk for hours with my friends about boys. At the age of 18, the radio, because I needed some music to keep me awake while working on my projects. Now, the internet. For people like me, who want to be everything in life, the internet is the best way to become all those things with a single click. I can be an activist, a writer, and a compulsive shopper with three different clicks in less than five minutes.
I remember being in high school and sitting on the hockey field unwilling to play. “This is civilian resistance”, I told the teacher, who looked at me as if I came from Mars.”Like Thoreau said, If… the machine of government… is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then, I say, break the law. “.
what happened to this spirit, to this strength, to this fearless attitude? Well, if you want to be a pacifist now, you just need to type your name down and click. As simple as that. A click seems to replace words and actions. So when you hear Le Tigre singing “Get off the Internet”, you understand that you have no real intention on meeting someone in the street and of really destroying the right wing. Well, tons of people can come and tell me “yeah , well, I FOUGHT the law, but the law WON”.
For a person like me, who enjoys listening to Beethoven in bed every day more, and doesn’t want to expose herself to the crowds and the public eye, the internet is the only way to keep in touch with the world, set up meetings, look for job, and be an activist as well, in an cycle of continuous optimization and waste of time. It’s like the new Fantasy Island, where you get to be whatever you want with just one click and no Mr. Roarke. And I’m thankful, because I feel good every time I click on the PETA letters, on the Hunger Site, on everything that means something to me. But at the same time, I still miss the smell of the grass in my revolutionary field.
